Tag: Blog Day

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Blog Day 2011 Part 2

Topic 21: Survivalist

“What Would You Do To Survive Alone On An Island?”

I would probably have to prepare. I would hopefully have honed my skills enough to discern what is ok and what is not ok to eat. I would probably first have to make some tools. Maybe a sharpened stick, a knife out of a rock, a club for clubbin’ things. I would need some shelter too, so with my newly fashioned tools in hand I would see if there was any naturally occurring shelters like caves. If not I would try to make a makeshift hut out of some thatch. After I secured some of the barest of essentials I would probably be pretty tired and take a nap. After being well rested I would now have to go find some food, maybe some animals to hunt. After the animals are slain I would probably need a fire. I would gather some dried out old wood, maybe some beach logs. I would have to have some way to start this a blaze. I would probably get some thin twigs and try to slowly heat them up. After I got a fire and everything I would probably just chill for a bit. Surviving is pretty tough work. After many days of getting it down pat I would most likely do some headier stuff like come up with ways to get back to civilization. I would probably design a sweet raft and then do that and accumulate the proper provisions. After it is all said and done I would probably get back and be so much stronger for it.

Categories
Blog Day 2011 Part 2

Topic 20: Shadowy Figures

“You Hear A Noise & There Is A Sudden Flash…”

Wha…where am I? My eyes burn from the intensity and brightness of the light shining right at my eyes. What in the world just happened? Ok, calm down, where was I last? It seems like everything I have ever known is just slurring together. It seems impossible to discern when and how events even took place. I am paralyzed. A silhouette of a man is standing above me. Another joins him. They seem to be talking, but everything is muffled beyond comprehension. I feel a small prick. Who areee thhoooossseemmennn…….

Categories
Blog Day 2011 Part 2

Topic 18: Bone Squirreling

“Imaginary home remedies to cure imaginary ailments”

This cure has been passed down to me through the ages. From your grandfather and his grandfather before him. You know when the bone squirreling and abdominal cross-pollinating start coming on real heavy. Here’s what you do. First you need to get three separate pails of ice cold water, a jar of cured meat, three to four medium sized hens, and a whole mess of horses. They must be placed three inches apart from one another with the handles pointed due west. After that strip down to nothing but your grundlewares, but don’t forget to cover the bits. You are not trying to impress anyone now. Take the cured meats and eat them right quick. If you take longer than a minute to eat all those you have to wait another ten days before attempting this cure again. After you are chocked full of meats place as many hens as you can under your right arm pit. Three works, but four will speed up the whole process. Take the cold water and have a trusted person dump it on you and the hens. It is important that the hens get WET. They will get more pissed than a hive of bees in a river, but you need to hold on tight to those hens. You can’t let them go! Finally, and this is the most important part of the whole event, you need to ride a pack of no less than one-hundred horses around the Florida everglades. With it being a swamp down there, you should make sure all the horses are wearing life vests. Follow these steps and your days of chiseled woman syndrome and overactive face quaking will be a thing of the past.