Categories
Personal Purdue School

College.

Sorry it’s been like 200 years since my last post which was barely even a post itself. I have a lot to talk about this time so it should be a good one.

To start off. College. It’s finally here and if you know me it’s what I have been talking about non-stop for the past year plus. So far it’s been going really good. I like having freedom, but it’s a double edged sword. It seems like everyone down here party’s. I guess that’s not such a bad thing sometimes, but I fear that so many people are going to take their newfound independence and go wild. I have seen it happen so much and I know it will happen now; except I have to see it first hand. I hold the philosophy that anyone can do anything if they put their minds to it. So much waste. Well now that I have started off on a downer it’s time to pick it up a bit. The pros of college. I am extremely happy with the way my dorm room turned out and yes, I have pictures. My roommate and me have been pretty cool. It’s cool to have someone you know to room with. We are both kind of neat freaks so it’s nice to know the dorm will not become a sty. I really want classes to start. I kind of just want to learn. That probably makes me a huge nerd, but I like learning new things. If I don’t learn at least one new thing a day it feels like a waste. College life gets some getting used to. I miss things I thought I never would. It’s not what I expected I would be feeling at this time. I recommend college though. It’s awesome. I will be doing periodic updates about my changing views on college life. I know it will defiantly change. One day I am going to go around campus and take some photos to post up so look for them.

This happened a couple of weeks ago, but I felt I must post about it. So, Alex…did I ever mention Alex in my blog. Well, she is my girlfriend and she is great. We have been together 8 months and as far as I can tell are pretty happy together. She pretty much makes me happy. I know you shouldn’t rely on someone to make you happy, and I don’t she just increases my happiness. It’s like playing a video game on multi-player. It’s just better than playing alone. So anyway without getting off on too much of a tangent; she had to baby sit this little girl named Jill. Being the gentleman I am I offered to help her out. I headed over to Jill’s house and from there we went to go get lunch. We went to Culvers to eat. The funny thing was all the people gave us weird looks. Well you see the thing is we sort of looked like teen parents. It was weird being treated as such. They are looked down upon so much. We were either treated ridiculously nice or people would give us mean looks. It’s weird to see how judgmental people are. Definitely me included. I judge people all the time, but based on nothing, but having a small child with us we were obviously teen parents. When we went up to buy ice cream they packed the cup so full. They even put sprinkles on top for free even though it’s supposed to be a charge. We went to Chuck E. Cheese’s after that and let me tell you. Greatest invention for parents ever. You just take you kids shoes off and let them go nuts. Plus they had Mario Kart the arcade machine. I didn’t even know they made those in America. I was so excited when I saw that. I was probably more excited than the little kids. I played through and entire circuit and won first place all 4 times. I probably looked like an idiot with all the little kids playing games and me a supposed parent sitting there playing Mario Kart and loving every minute of it. I just wanted to let everyone know my day as a teen parent. It was definitely interesting to say the lease. I have some pictures of Mario Kart. They have a camera built into the machine to take your picture and they add designed to make you look like the character you picked. They are of Alex and I. They are a little low on quality because they were off a screen onto a camera phone, but you get the gist. Until next time, enjoy.

Me as Luigi

Alex as Peach

Categories
Nonsense Technology

Can Computers Feel Fear?

For today’s post I have included a illustration drawn in MSPaint by yours truly. Now to explain the story behind it. For those of you who don’t know, my occupation for the time being is a network administrator/computer tech guy for a small publishing company. Here’s a side story before I delve into the actual story. I’m sure that that job title sounds unfitting for an 18 year old. Well, the other day I went into the optometrist office to get my eyes checked out because I needed new glasses. Since I was a walk in patient I needed to fill out some paperwork. It was the normal name, address, phone, etc. They had a place for occupation so I filled it in with exactly what I just said my job was, network administrator. So, they sat me down in the chair with those huge super glasses with a million changeable lenses and the doctor walks in and starts with the normal small talk. He stops for a second and says well before we continue we will have to change some things on your paperwork. I wonder what it could be seeing that I am confident I know my name, address, and age. He has the nerve to say, “OK, for occupation you have network administrator, that’s your dad, not you.” What the hell? Why can’t I be one. So, I smugly told him, “No that’s me.” He was stunned and responded with, “O-ooo-oh that’s all then.” Jerk, showed him who’s boss. I always contend with my age and my computer knowledge. It pisses me off. I go to work on people’s computers, I get there they think I know nothing. I fix their computer and they are all stunned and always, always say “I didn’t think you could do that.” Geeze, don’t have too much faith in me.

OK, no that I have got sufficiently off track, let me get back to what I originally was talking about. So, my job basically consists of fixing computers for this company. I always get people asking me to fix their computers. There is this phenomenon that happens almost 96.496% of the time. I walk up to the computer and magically as if I had super powers it works. I don’t even have to touch the computer I just have to be near it. I was pondering over my new found super powers today when I realized that it’s probably not me with super powers. I just intimidate the computers. I know what you’re thinking, you can’t intimidate and inanimate object. I think you can! Peoples faces when I come by to fix their computer and somehow it miraculously works by just me standing near is proof. So, let this be a warning to all you troublesome computers out there. I’m comin’ for ya.

Categories
Personal

Old Jobs Die Hard

Today’s blog is brought to you by the wonderful customers at Deep River Waterpark because without them this would not be possible. Let me give you a little back story. For those who do not know me personally I was once an employee of Northwest Indiana’s premier waterpark. I was a proud member of the maintenance staff a.k.a. janitor. During my stay there, I had many experiences that I feel I should share with you guys. It’s a little late seeing as I resigned from that job in the summer of ’05, but the tales must be told! So, without further adieu, I bring you:

The Saga of a Splastatsic Employee

It was the start of my second summer at Deep River, I pretty much knew the ropes, I knew how things worked, big man on campus basically. I guess people must have sensed this because any customer with a question/request/desire would come directly to me. I guess the bright orange shirt or broom and dustpan wasn’t enough camouflage to keep me hidden from the normal customer. The waterpark hire people specifically designed for the task of helping people, we have a huge gazebo devoted to customer service with a big sign that says customer service. On top of that we have people walk around with a big sign that says “Ask me.” Yet, I get the questions. Yeah, it’s broken. When it rains at the waterpark one perk we get is that we don’t have to work and get to stand under something as to not get soaked. Well, one day I was working in the food court. It started to rain and I went under the awning by where you order food. I would like to take this time to point out one of the weirdest oxymorons in history. Whenever it rains (rains not storms) at the waterpark everyone runs for cover. I mean people in the wavepool will get out and run under an umbrella. Let me see if I get this straight; you pay to get into a waterpark but as soon as rain hits all bets are off. This is the kind of people I have to put up with. Anyway, on with the story. So I was conversing with one of my fellow employees under the awning when a woman in a bathing suit standing next to me ,apparently escaping the rain under said awning, taps me on the shoulder because I looked like someone who could answer her inquiry. She asks “excuse me what’s the policy on refunds?” Ok, a normal question I don’t mind this too much, I mean it’s completely legit. I answer with “Usually if the rain doesn’t stop within an hour they start handing out refunds.” So, I go back to talking to whoever I was talking to when she taps my should again. Ughh. So, I ask her what she needs. She asks me, “Does the rain usually stop?” For emphasis, I will restate the question. “Does the rain usually stop?” I am thinking to myself how the hell can anyone ask such a stupid question? I mean come on, how long have you been a resident of Earth? I was so dumbfounded by this absurd question that all I could manage to say was “Uhhhh….Yeah, usually.” I later thought of the perfect response, but it was too late. For my own sanity, I will state the proper response. *look up at sky* “No, I don’t think it’s stopping this time. You know we are actually building an ark in the back. I would hurry back there though, space is limited.” What the hell is wrong with people. Please, think before you speak.

Warning: Not for the weak of heart or stomach.

My first year at my first job. It was different that’s for sure. As a n00b employee I was given all the shit work to do. Literally, the shit work, like cleaning shit. We actually came up with a name for the shirt workers. We were F.A.R.T. That’s an acronym for Fecal Accident Response Team. Our motto: “shit happens” We were actually going to make t-shirts, brown with F.A.R.T. on the front in white letters, on the back shit happens also in white. I still might do that. Anyway one night I was working Tubin’ Tuesday. Tubin’ Tuesday is one of those phenomena that come around once maybe twice per every billion years. Every Tuesday after the park closes at 7 p.m. we would reopen for Tubin’ Tuesday which was an excuse to keep the park open until 9:30. At about 7 o’clock fifty or so 7th and 8th graders would show up for Tubin’ Tuesday. Mind you not in bathing suits, but in full clothes. We would have a DJ there too and he would play horrid popular rap music or something. The waterpark transformed from Deep River Waterpark to Club River. You would see these little kids bumpin’ and grindin’ on the food court. It was about the funniest and worst spectacle to behold. Anyway, one Tubin’ Tuesday my lead (supervisor) comes up to me and tells me to check the front bathrooms, there is a code brown. What a great segue to let me tell you about the codes! Instead of just saying what has happened we have codes to “cleverly disguise” the actual occurrence. Here is the list of code in amazing color!

Code Brown: Poop
Code Yellow: Urine
Code Red: Blood
Code Pink: Feminine Product
Code White: Man Juice
Code Rainbow: Puke/Barf/Up Chuck
Code Purple: Old Man in Speedo (employee named)

I hope you all enjoyed that. So, I get to clean up a code brown! Woooooo. I have a fellow member of F.A.R.T. come down to assist me. I had no idea what was in store for me. I start checking the stalls when I come to the middle stall. Holy fuck! It looks like a shit massacre. It is smeared all over the walls and toilet seat. My buddy almost code rainbowed right there. So, it becomes apparent to me that I am going to get the wonderful task of cleaning this mess. The worst part was that some snot nosed kid actually did this. He took his bare hands and smeared all this because there are handprints. Worst experience ever. It sucked, I still have nightmares.

That is what it is like to be a DRWP maintenance employee. You are treated like what you clean. I hated that job and I’m glad I got a new one. If I recall any other waterpark stories. You guys will be the first to hear. Also, thank you to anyone who has been commenting. I appreciate them. They have been interesting so far. Please keep it up!